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TMNT: Boner-inducer Megan Fox cast as April O’Neil

I love absurdity.

It forces the mind to think in awkward ways, questioning the events that unfold in front of us without finding an answer that will stick. Humanity can be awesomely absurd, and with a notion of something like the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles we prove that at times dicking around can spill the right type of ooze.

if you know what I mean

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When Kevin Eastman was dicking around doodling in ’82 he discovered the knowledge that would become the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

TMNT, ninja turtles, Kevin Eastman

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Together him and Peter Laird would create characters that tens of millions of children all over the world wanted to emulate by taking some form of ass kickery lessons and lay some smackdown on dickfaces and cornholes. They made it cool being weird, and a need to explore sewer systems (did it, such sickness bro).

As an only child from the late 80’s and 90’s some of my fondest memories were of my Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles toys. My favouritist was Michelangelo because he was rad, and totally tubular, skated, and ate all the pizza, essentially me in 5 years, but I always made sure to listen to Leonardo. Besides being the turtle barer of my favourtist colour in the whole wide world, he was also super duper wise and smart, and a leader who never left a friend behind and did the right thing, most of the time, essentially what I’m working to achieve at the moment.

But I digress as of why TMNT were the first hand savior that kept me off (too many) drugs, and why being a ninja is the best, later confirmed by Wu-Tang. It was made public that Michael Bay has chosen Megan Fox for the role of April O’Neil. This has been met with some mixed reviews, but all I can state is that another Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is being made, isn’t that awesome enough.

no, sloth

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No, people have to discuss every damn cotton picking thing, so let’s discuss. I think this is nothing but an amazing idea. April O’Neil has quite the sense of humour, and I, alongside every other fine strapping young stud, grew up watching her with something we all would later learn to call a boner. I always had a thing for April O’Neil and with this casting I can continue this tradition unmolested, well something’s getting molested.

touch yourself, molest

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Megan has proved she can be self-deprecating, even funny at times. Who would you rather cast for the role? One, it’s a Michael Bay production so beautiful, top grade ladies are first coveted for any leading lady role, and also April is suppose to be hawt.

Slated for June 6, 2014, I will be on high alert for concept art of the Turtles, and will only welcome it with open arms, that is until I can sit, watch it and then scrutinize every miniscule detail to the very last frame. But for now let’s all remember what it means to be a Turtle: Wax on, wax off.

deep bro, tender

Kowabunga dudes!

tmnt, awesome, badass

Heading Image Credit: www.forosperu.net

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