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Wrap it or Don’t: Barebacking isn’t ‘Unsafe’ Sex [nsfw]

Far too many people have this black or white opinion that sex is either safe or unsafe, which loosely translates into “he wore a condom so it was safe.” First of all let’s ditch the idea of safe and realize that nothing is ever guaranteed because condoms are not foolproof. As someone who teaches safe sex workshops in high schools and colleges, I can tell you that a lot of people have no idea how to put one on properly; even more people simply hate using them which is why barebacking is so popular and desireable. But let’s not jump the gun and call all these barebackers irresponsible.

Sex

Let’s cut to the chase, we all know that condoms are the most effective and easiest way to protect against the transmission of HIV and other STIs, but they can also be uncomfortable and inhibit intimacy. It’s really important to play around with different brands because they are all fit slightly differently and you can find one that works perfectly for you. Contrary to popular belief, Trojans aren’t always the best coice for everyone. Placing a small amount of lube inside of the condom can also make them more comfortable on a penis.

sex with pug

The other issue surrounding condoms is that too few of us use them for oral sex. Almost every common STI (Chlamydia, Gonorrhea, Trich, Herpes, LGV, Syphilis), can be transmitted through oral sex. If you really think about it, what’s the point then? Do I have to forego oral sex altogether to be safe? Because I refuse to get a BJ through a rubber. I tried it once, never again.

Gay Sex

Gay Sex

If you’re going to engage in barebacking you carry a lot of responsibility to make sure that you and your partner(s) are protected. The first step is to get yourself tested for a full range of STIs. If they didn’t draw blood, you weren’t tested for everything; you are allowed to ask for every STI to be screened for even if your doctor suggests you don’t need it. (they tend to be a little sexist and homophobic on this one; it’s an sad truth.) You typically should be required to pee in a cup, receive a swab test of the mouth and genitals, and have a small blood sample taken. HIV can be tested for on the spot, but the other results can take upto two weeks to process. 

Sexy

The other part of testing is that it has to be done routinely. Every 2-3 months if youhave multiple barebacking partners. You better make damn sure that you keep on top of this to catch any possibly infection early so you don’t spread it around. Some HIV positive people engage in barebacking as well and limit transmission by maintaining a low or undetactable viral load which makes spreading the infection extremely unlikely. You are putting a lot of trust in your partners that they are also being diligent about getting tested.

Girls

The Next thing with barebacking is that lube better be your best friend. Lube reduces friction, which in turn reduces the number of tears that form along the shaft of the penis as well as inside of the vaginal wall and anus. This  means it is less likely for an infection to be transmitted through penetrative sex. The nice thing about not wearing a condom is that is also means you can use what ever type of lube you prefer; water, silicone, or oil based are all fine. (Oil based lube should not be used with a condom as it breaks down the latex, in case you didn’t know.) So lube up, and get it slippery. Seriously, use a lot of lube. 

Lick

In no way am I saying that we should all ditch the condoms and dental dams, because barebacking can be risky and you have to be extremely diligent in order to do it responsibly. Many of us, myself included, struggle to go get tested every 3-4 months and increasing that would actually start to get inconvenient. Ditching the rubber also means you’re putting all your cards on birth control to protect you from the single most expensive STI you could ever contract: an infant. 

Eating Out

Go forth and have fun, don’t criticize someone if they tell you they don”t use condoms, but make sure that they are being responsible. You should also never let anyone pressure you into not using a condom because all things to do with sex are your decision to make. If you do decide to ditch the rubber, make sure you are prepared because it is your health we’re talking about. 

P.S. Pulling out doesn’t protect against shit. I meet an alarming number of idiots who think that it prevents STIs and pregnancy. And remember that the most common symptom of any STI is having no symptoms at all.

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