I used to hate slutty Halloween costumes. I would glare at all the ladies who would dress up in their best clubwear and then add kitten whiskers. I believed that Halloween could only have room for goofy or terrifying costumes. There was no room for bellybutton rings in my Halloween utopia.
It’s easy to hate on slutty costumes. They’re lazy! They’re attention-seeking! They’re so easy (pun intended)! And you know what? That’s great! I shouldn’t spend my night grumbling in the corner about a young woman’s bra and short-short version of Edward Scissorhands. Sure, Johnny Depp is flat as a board and she didn’t even put on scissor hands, but who cares? I should be focusing on drinking tequila shots and stealing all the peanut butter cups like a proper party guest.
To be honest, slutty costumes are kind of brave. I have to summon up courage to don a two-piece in the summer when it’s actually warm. It’s admirable to see these ladies laugh in the face of Canadian October. They march boobs-first into the cold. They’re a different kind of soldier.
Here are 5 other reasons why Slutty Costumes Are Great:
1. You can’t be judged!
It’s a rule. In the wise words of Mean Girls, Halloween is the one time of year you can dress like a total slut and no one can say anything. You can go out in your underwear and people can’t say shit about you. Take advantage!
2. Full body costumes will smother you!
Why sweat your ass off in a Chewbacca get-up? At least you can breathe!
3. Pants are awful!
I stand by this. Pants are the worst. Anything that leads to the escape from the confines of pants is fantastic in my book.
4. You look hot!
If you’re looking to impress or looking to mingle, you might make a better impression looking your best than having a fake hatchet sticking out of your forehead.
5. Because why not?
The only thing that matters is you have a kick-ass Halloween. Shove candy in your face, give yourself nightmares with scary movies, drink irresponsibly and wear whatever the hell you want.