Unless you’re on a healthy diet of Prozac and rainbows, you hate your morning commute. You especially hate it when it involves the TTC. Schedules are more “suggested”, than set in stone. Even TTC drivers know the TTC commute is garbage. Last week, I was on the subway when a conductor had enough and made an announcement: I’m sorry it took 45 minutes to get from Finch to Bloor/Yonge. I’m not happy about it either.*
I’m sure he could sense how everyone was cursing him and the stupid train he rode in on. Instead of telling all the commuters to plan ahead for constant delays and blaming them for not having the magical abilities to predict the future, he used this announcement to rant for all the TTC workers. The TTC is underfunded – the most underfunded public transport program in North America. Raising the fare won’t help. We need money from the government. If you can, email your councilman/woman. Email Stephen Harper if you can.
I really hope his outburst didn’t get him in trouble. It’s hard to hate the conductor when they seem to be getting just as screwed as you. Their schedules are just as messed up because of delays. They must get stressed carting along hundreds of people who are stewing in anger because their boss is going to give them hell when their biggest fault is that they can’t foresee a medical emergency happening at Spadina.
To get to my real point here, an absolute genius has put up their solution for these delays: fake TTC Tardy Passes. The list includes typical issues like “Signal Problems”, “Ongoing Maintenance”, and “Stop Out of Service.” In agreement with the disgruntled TTC employee’s complaint, another option to tick off the list is “Stalled politicians”, right after “Stalled Streetcar”. Absolute perfection! The late slip advises that it can be filled out by a TTC official to present to an employer, educational institution, or spouse.
As funny as this is, this is actually a good idea. Late slips are actually available in Japan for public transport delays. We should copy them. Japan is where all the good ideas come from! They came up with sushi and cat cafes! They know how to run things.
Sure, your employer/professor/spouse might have a cold enough heart to dismiss the slip. Sure, it would be impossible to sign a whole bunch of slips during a downtown morning commute – there would be riots just for a signature. Sure, it’s a pathetic band-aid on the problem of the TTC, which requires funding for improvements and not more paper. BUT I’d still give away my non-existent first born for a real tardy pass.
*I don’t have a direct quote from him. This is the gist of his announcement.