Whether or not this following assumption plays into this whole 'dumb-ass stereotypes about what makes a woman a lesbian' is irrelevant. I mean, stating that a woman with nails isn't a lesbian is just well, ridiculous, but having killer acrylic claws pounded finger deep inside of you… that's no joke.
A woman's nails aren't only helpful cues when eliminating hopefuls at a bar, but they also give you an unexpected look at one's personality. Here is my take on Jenna Marble's 'What a girl's nails means' (video below).
Either you work with food or you're just too busy to give a shit.
You're a lesbian (kidding). But seriously, you lack patience and/or get easily excited over nothing.
You're a prostitute, vampire, a classy betch or just a typical mall mom that has an 8 to 5 job.
Chipped, Stained, you name it.
You're probably a drag queen who constantly stays up dyeing wigs and embroiderering stage bras.
You're either excessively interested in the opposite sex or a gold digger.
You're a pretty princess whose haters ain't shit and you happen to enjoy really rough sex (your boyfriend can endure back rips).
You're boring and have no conception of what is nice, nor do you care.
You're probably an attention-seeking follower who stands out only in the dark and will shortly be checking into rehab.
You're incredibly talented and getting your Instagram double tapped gives you some sort of euphoric orgasm.
You chain smoke, don't mind getting a bit dirty, oh, and you're kinky as fuck.
Too long nails:
You're unemployed, snort a lot of coke, don't own pants and text at the speed of nothing.
You're an alcoholic and you find pleasure in wasting money on 'good for a week' bullshit.