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An Unofficial Study: What A Girl’s Nails Really Mean

Whether or not this following assumption plays into this whole 'dumb-ass stereotypes about what makes a woman a lesbian' is irrelevantI mean, stating that a woman with nails isn't a lesbian is just well, ridiculous, but having killer acrylic claws pounded finger deep inside of you… that's  no joke.

A woman's nails aren't only helpful cues when eliminating hopefuls at a bar, but they also give you an unexpected look at one's personality. Here is my take on Jenna Marble's 'What a girl's nails means' (video below).

 

Naked Nails:

bare

Either you work with food or you're just too busy to give a shit.

Short Nails:

short

You're a lesbian (kidding). But seriously, you lack patience and/or get easily excited over nothing

Red Nails:

red

You're a prostitute, vampire, a classy betch or just a typical mall mom that has an 8 to 5 job.

WTF Nails:

Chipped, Stained, you name it.

emotions

You're probably a drag queen who constantly stays up dyeing wigs and embroiderering stage bras.

Round Nails:

round

You're either excessively interested in the opposite sex or a gold digger.

Stiletto Nails:

nail

You're a pretty princess whose haters ain't shit and you happen to enjoy really rough sex (your boyfriend can endure back rips).

French Manicure:

french

You're boring and have no conception of what is nice, nor do you care. 

Neon Nails:

neon

You're probably an attention-seeking follower who stands out only in the dark and will shortly be checking into rehab.

Nail Art:

art

art

You're incredibly talented and getting your Instagram double tapped gives you some sort of euphoric orgasm.

Black Nails:

 You chain smoke, don't mind getting a bit dirty, oh, and you're kinky as fuck.

Too long nails:

contacts

You're unemployed, snort a lot of coke, don't own pants and text at the speed of nothing.

Seasonal Nails:

seasonal

You're an alcoholic and you find pleasure in wasting money on 'good for a week' bullshit.

Cover Image

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Written by jadeg

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